how do I start gnome-session over VNC (server OS: debian bookworm)?

Using tightvncserver, how do I load gnome-session over a VNC session? tried editing ~/.vnc/xstartup with gnome-session & but the screen stays gray. --- What I tried: unset SESSION_MANAGER exec /etc/X11/xinit/xinitrc export $(dbus-launch) gnome-session & --- If I try startxfce4 & without specifying anything else I have no issues and I can use the system, however I don't like the look of default xfce and would prefer gnome. OS: debian bookworm, default gnome version (43), tightvncserver